ManEater...

" When she talks she talks like she can handle it "

I really do not want to claim this title... I am not a -ahem- maneater... no! I dont think so anyway. I mean what really is a Maneater per say??? Ok, If I am a maneater... I definitely dont set out to be such... I just really dont have a hard time dropping a guy if he's not beneficial... or keeping him around until I am bored with him and then, changing my phone number. This however DOES NOT make me a ManEater...

I am however sensing a pattern in my dating life. The analogy that best fits is basketball. I realize lots of people use this comparison but it measures up just right. I do tend to keep a "team" of guys. but it goes even broader than that....

With me... Im the owner of my franchise. Everyone on my teams knows that they're playing and exactly which position they have. First off I have the obvious, my Point Guard (PT) I hate my PT, whoever he is at the time and here's why. Pt knows that he is the shit. His ass is more cocky than I am. He calls the shots, gains the popularity, makes ALL the shots and looks good while he's doing it. My issue with him is that he has the power to sign a contract and stop being a free agent... but doesnt. Cocky ball hogging bastard. He kills me. He wants all the fame, attention and the ball 24-7 however doesnt make himself available enough to do so. I love this man tho, but I can win championships with him alone... so...

I got my Power Forwards. Yes plural, whatever... They are so cute, and so ready to be a PT... but the swag is prolly lacking or something like that. They are mostly good guys... I do keep a few assholes on my team (just drop the "power" part) just to mix it up a bit. They like to show boat and do a few tricks to get my attention, or maybe even the attention of another team owner, who knows and who cars. Each and everyone of them are usually disposable... and they know it. Im disposable to the majority of them.. maybe only like 1 or 2 of them think Im the one. Im not consistant enough for them to think too much of me... I like this guys because they want nothing and they get nothing in return... however they give, give, give... gotta love the forwards!

Now I also keep a Center. This guy.. He's a little different. I had my daughter with a Center that wanted to be PT... Im always on the fence about my Center's. They seem to have all the qualities that you want in a PT but... He straddles that "Friendship fence". I freaking HATE that damn thing!!!! Nothing confuses me more than my centers and that damned fence. I hate them both. Once a deep friendship is set in place, Im a freaking mess. If I consider you my friend, that means I consider you over most things/people in my life. See the Center is always in the right spot when you need him... He puts himself on the line, stays convenient and really doesnt mind if you run all over him then not call him the next day... He's a good guy to me, but is somewhere dogging another sista completely out. But thats not my business. Sad thing is that your Center could be anywhere from Head over heals in love with you.... to you being the Center on his team... you never can tell. I tread lightly with this dude.

And Lastly... my coach. I keep myself a Coach. Funny thing is that sometimes my Coach doubles as my Center... and very rarely my PT. It just kinda depends. My coach knows ALL the players on my team... players that want to be on my team and even the ones that got cut. I love my coach... usually Im scared of him which is why he not playing and he's also too damn cool for all that. I had a Coach once that was too cool. He still tells me that he's ready to be PT, when Im ready cut everyone else... Oh Coach... Sit your old ass down somewhere!

Here lately the game has been greatly switched up.. I have try-outs... quite frequently actually... the drills are tough. Its def a "Go hard or Go Home" type of conditioning. And if you go home.. no love lost. I hate wasting my time on guy that wants to keep stretching while he pretends like he is going to get up and go run 12 miles in 2 minutes or bench press 325... Ima need you to put in some work brotha.. today... Just for a laugh her are some "players" that showed up to practice but didnt quite make the cut...

#1. Mr. Oral

so I met this guy... he was adorable, confident, and quick. I was at the gas station (never met guys at the gas station, they usually full of shit) He held the door open for me when I went in, and again when I went out then decided to speak up. I like his demeanor a little so we exchanged numbers and he started to text me thru out the nite. By the time I was on my 3rd Washington Apple (it was a Saturday nite, time to get shit-faced) I knew that this dude was a freak, wanted to jump my bones and.. "speak directly into the microphone" (lol!! <-- that ref is hilarious, if you dont know what im talking about, check out his name again) This is NOT from assumption... this man is talking about this crap via text message on the night that I met him!! What in the frak?? Not cute... not at all... not even a little bit. Turned completely off. If you gotta talk about it.. then your prolly cant BE about it... Kick rocks... horn dog.

p.s. I gave this fool 2 or 3 more times to hit the reset button... all he wanted to do was orally oral ABOUT his oral... lmao!!! NO THANKS!!

#2 Mr. Compensation... he's not too far from #1. Now, he is my..."friend" I guess. But dude is a walking turn-off himself. Always with the "Oooh girl I'll do this to you, I'll do that to you, blah blah blah" Will you shut the hell up!? I dont believe you, you need more people! Must you try and intimidate me into sleeping with you? Is that all you have? I mean... I have ADHD... I dont stay interested in things long enough to be intimidated by them. "Ooh girl you dont know what you missin!" .... sure I do... Word to the wise... you may want to find a new topic for the the Celibate girl ( more like abstinent since I think about sex all the time lol, but abstinence is for 16 year olds, ima grown woman) ugh! so bored...

Im your average girl... confused and inconsistent. I hate dickheads but dont like a pushover... I need you to be honest with me but not tell me what I dont want to hear... you have to work for me... I cant guarantee that i'll reciprocate right away. If you dont like, then its not for you.. and thats cool with me. Yes... I do kinda love 'em and leave 'em... But I dont waste time nor do I allow mine to be wasted... unless my PT is just that good, so until the bottom of the 9th... Bon Apitite Bitches!

Oh shit Innings are for baseball aren't they!? MY BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!